Body Image – A Practical Look

If I read another article about how the media objectifies women or watch another video of an attractive woman preaching about how girls should have a healthy body image, I may just lose it. This has become a very prominent topic in modern discourse, particularly intellectual discourse. I’ve seen three separate TED talks, numbers of YouTube videos, and an inordinate number of articles (most of which I’ve read) on the subject. In the age of social media, stuff like this spreads very quickly, especially if it resonates with people. I hate most of it, not because I disagree that young girls are having increasingly unhealthy body images, but because I have yet to see any of these advocates or scholars provide something tangible that these girls and women can actually use to help build their body images  and develop healthy perceptions of themselves. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Simply put, it isn’t the media’s fault. The media sells what people buy, and because people keep buying damaging material, the media keeps producing. Standards of beauty come before their portrayal in media, not the other way around. It’s like blaming Pepsi and McDonald’s for selling unhealthy food. People buy it, so they sell it. It’s much more productive to create a culture in which women have healthy body images and cease to be consumers of the objectification that everyone is in an uproar about. Here’s some real practical advice that I think people can actually use.

5 Steps on the Path to a Healthy Positive Self Image

1. Eat Healthy and Exercise – Don’t do this to lose weight or try to make yourself look skinnier. Do this with the goal of being healthy. Keep your blood pressure low, maintain low cholesterol, take in enough calcium to maintain bone and breast health, etc… Healthiness is attractive by default because we are evolutionarily conditioned to look for healthy mates, but more than that, you’ll feel better if you’re healthy. You’ll be more positive about yourself, and it’s much more difficult to have a confident body image if you’re unhealthy.

2. Be Hygenic – Keep yourself clean; it’s simple. Shower, brush your teeth regularly, maintain your feminine health, get regular checkups at the physician, and so on. Cleanliness is another big part of a positive body image. It is a commentary on your own feeling of self worth. If you care about yourself, you care to present yourself cleanly and keep yourself hygenic. Being gross is an easy way to detract from being positive about yourself.

3. Stop Buying Cosmo, Vogue, and all that other crap – These magazines are full of nonsense. Not only is the advice contained within them wrong, it’s damaging to your psychology. It reduces human appearances to geometry, sex to procedures, and relationships to quizzes and games. Quite frankly, it’s disgusting. It’s unrealistic, but the reason these companies turn over multi million dollar profits is because people buy their products. Whether you “like” reading it or not, just stop buying it. It may be difficult if you’re a regular subscriber and avid fan, but if you remove this content and influence from your life, you’ll be much better off.

4. Dress Well – It doesn’t matter what anybody tells, having an attractive wardrobe, and having people compliment that wardrobe, significantly contributes to your own perceptions about your appearance. Hire an image consultant if you need to, or read some good literature about how to dress well for yourself and your body type. There are clothes out there for everyone, and for the most part, it’s about defining your avatar or look, and adhering to that in your clothing choices. It’s not difficult, and there’s plenty of quality advice out there and people out there to help with it.

5. Have Passions in Life – What do you want to do with your life? What sort of things do you enjoy? What do you want to accomplish? These questions should be priorities for you. Passionate people are sexy. They draw others to them, and they put energy and life into their surroundings. You shouldn’t drift through life without desires and passions. Figure out what gets you going, and dedicate time and effort to it.

If you follow these steps, not only will your life begin to change for the positive, your perceptions of yourself will grow to be less dependent on what others think. You will separate yourself from the need to be beautiful and realize that you are beautiful. Just try it; it’s better than sitting in the dark watching YouTube videos of lectures from attractive women who chastise the media for being evil.

Blinding Her With Pleasure – Sex and Sensory Deprivation

We’ve all heard that the other senses become stronger to compensate when one sense is lost. Scientifically speaking, this is a true statement. Most people though, don’t use this fact to their advantage. You don’t have to be blind to understand and utilize the power of heightened senses. Sensory deprivation is an incredible tool in the bedroom, and it is one that every man should have in his toolkit. It adds an entirely new and exciting dynamic to a sexual experience, and if you really want to please your partner, you should definitely give it a try. In this post, I take a look at the five senses, and take some time to describe how each can be enhanced or taken away to give her pleasure like she has never before experienced.

Touch

It’s not a big secret that touch is the most important sense in a sexual encounter. After all, her vagina can’t talk to you, see you, smell you, or taste you, can it? You cannot remove or diminish her sense of touch, nor should you try. Instead, you should focus on touch by depriving her other senses. You can do a lot to enhance and tease this sensibility. Use ice cubes or cold water around her stomach and navel. This is particularly effective if she has a flat abdomen. Use a feather or your fingertips to tickle the insides of her thighs. Don’t be afraid to dig your nails into her back or bite her a little harder than you normally would. Grab the back of her neck and push it up as you run your tongue from her collar bone up to just below her ear. Don’t be afraid to experiment with pain and pleasure and hot and cold. Drip some cold water onto her nipples then blow a thin stream of air onto them and bite them gently when they become hard. These are all things you can use to attack her sense of touch. Be wary though, too much stimulation will cause her to overload and become uncomfortable. Proceed slowly and gently, and use these techniques sparingly. Remember also that these techniques ought to be used in conjunction with deprivation of other senses, which is discussed below. So keep reading!

Sight

Sight is hardly important. You should just get rid of it for her. Blindfolding is usually the best option. And you should a soft and sensual material to do it like satin or silk, something that feels good on her skin. Turn the lights off before you blindfold her so that it’s a gradual procession, and begin heightening the other senses immediately. Whisper her in ear while you tie the blindfold and tell her that she’s about to experience the best night of her life, or whatever sexy thing you want to say to her.

Sight is also a good place to start if you’re beginning to experiment with sensory deprivation. Click here to check out a great blindfold cuff combo you can use as a beginner. It’s comfortable and sexy. If you’re looking for more products to try, scroll to the end of the post!

Hearing

This is the one sense which can either be removed or used. If you want to remove it, only do so if you have also taken away her sight. Otherwise, it’s just goofy and pointless. Both in conjunction, though, can add the tantalizing elements of fear and anticipation to her sexual experience. If she cannot hear or see you coming, then each action of tactile stimulation becomes that much more intense. She anticipates each drop of water, feather stroke, or bite that much more, and it effects her that much more as well. This also means that you need to be more careful, however, because the potential for overloading becomes much greater.

If you want to use hearing, then music and sensual whispers are the way to go. Put on some good sexy music. Good choices are usually one where there are breathy verses sung by women in heat or romantic verses sung by lonely men. If you’re being more aggressive, then try hard rock or rap. Lots of bass, high treble, and high pitches are things which should be avoided. And even if the music is playing, be sure to still talk and whisper to her. Tell her how good she tastes, how much you love watching her body twist in ecstasy, etc…

Taste

This is a tricky sense to manage. Generally, avoiding it is probably your best option, especially if you’ve got her blindfolded. You don’t want to put things in her mouth that she can’t see…for the most part 😉 You can’t really take it away, so if you want to engage with, sensual foods are a good option, and you should use them at the beginning of the night, before you really get into the sexual part. Chocolate, chocolate covered strawberries, cake-like desserts, ice cream, and such things are good options. Taking her to dinner where she can get tasty food is also a good option. That food doesn’t even have to be romantic, it just has to be something she enjoys. You can also use taste at the end. Have some chocolate together after you’re done, or a warm chocolaty coffee drink. Whatever you choose should work. Decide among yourselves.

Smell

You obviously shouldn’t take away her sense of smell. This will be awkward and uncomfortable. Use it instead. The first way to do this is to smell good yourself. Be sure you’re showered and clean, and wear a good cologne you know she likes. It will especially get her excited if she can’t see you, but she can feel the heat coming off you and smell your scent. It’s very primal and very sexy. You can light some incense as well,  or use scented oil diffusers to keep your place always smelling good. The most important thing is to not offend her sense of smell. If your breath smells bad, or you smell bad, the entire night could be ruined for her.

Well, there it is. Go ahead, try these things out. I guarantee that you’ll experience a new and incredible sexual world. If you’re looking for some additional products to try, take a look at the items below.