I gathered a million of my closest friends around me to run blindfolded through the forest. Our goal was to make it to the other side without hitting a tree. None of us did, which is a shame because we were trying to recreate that glorious impossibility of sperm meeting egg.

“You have your facts wrong,” one of my friends said to me.

“This doesn’t realistically recreate anything,” he continued despite my glare.

He was the first one to hit a tree.

It wasn’t funny.

He ended up not being born.

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